Jennifer Grey was a dancer turned movie star in the mid-to-late 80s with appearances in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Red Dawn, and most notably Dirty Dancing. Her fame lead her into circles that included Matthew Broderick, Johnny Depp (she was engaged to both), and George Stephanopoulos.
You might not know who Jennifer Grey is even if you have seen all of her movies, why? In the early 1990s she underwent rhinoplasty (a nose job), at the suggestion of well intentioned agents and others wanting to take her career to the next level. Jennifer probably received advise from “experts” saying, “We know you are beautiful Jennifer but if you want to really be a star you need to do something about your nose that is just a little larger than what it should be”. Then end result of the surgery was that Jennifer’s appearance fit into the movie star mold, no one could recognize her, and producers no longer wanted her for their movies. Seems like an incredible turn of events over something seemingly so insignificant since her acting and dancing ability were the same.
Jennifer’s story reminded me of a danger we all face on a daily basis; the danger of conforming to “the standard” to the point of losing our identity. This danger appears in how we approach families, spiritual beliefs, careers and the use of social media. Some people feel more pressure than others to conform but everyone can relate to the feeling that “I should be doing something more like person X or Y if I ever want to achieve my goals”. There is great value in learning from what successful people do but blindly copying another’s style or approach does not guarantee success (enter the Jennifer Grey story).
Think about the danger of conformity in the following four areas this week:
Families – Have you fallen into the trap that you have to imitate the activities or events another family does in order to brings yours together?
Spiritual Beliefs – Is your approach to having (or not having) a relationship with God just based on what you see others doing?
Careers – Are you working the same hours with the same attitude as your co-workers or friends?
Social Media – Is your use (or non-use) of Twitter or Facebook based upon your own personal style or just upon what you have heard other people say about how you should use them?
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I barely recognized Jennifer Grey when she made an appearance in season one of Friends!
Hey Jim,
I’ve just been perusing your website and you have some great posts! I like how you recommend standing up for your own beliefs in this and the other post (on housing) that I read. It’s vitally important not to get so caught up in other people’s lives that you lose sight of yourself.
–Brian
The author of http://www.themindofjim.com has written an excellent article. You have made your point and there is not much to argue about. It is like the following universal truth that you can not argue with: However, actual intelligence of the internet is always at it’s minimum. Thanks for the info.